One of the most important questions you can ask yourself as you enter into 2024

I believe this is one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves as we move into 2024:

“What are the personality characteristics, habits, values, and spiritual lives of those I spend the most time with?”

Here is why:

Did you know we tend to mirror and imitate the people we spend the most time with? In 2010 a group of researchers found mirror neurons in parts of the God designed human brain that are responsible for movement, vision, and memory. These cells are activated when we perform an action or when we watch and observe someone else performing an action. This is part of the wiring in our autonomic nervous system and helps us survive.

As children, we tend to subconsciously imitate the people around us. This response is heightened around those we admire or who we spend the most time with. We develop motor patterns in childhood and subconsciously imitate our family members posture and movement. This also happens in animals. In dogs for example, studies show some will yawn contagiously with their owners actions, even when a reward should compel them to do the opposite.

Automatic imitation is especially heightened in teens, due to their strong desire to fit in, be seen, heard, and accepted. Their desire to be accepted drives their subconscious minds even harder to create similarities between themselves and their peers. This is a crucial age because habitual postures + habits learned from their peers, may often override those learned from parents and siblings.

As we grow into adults, our motor patterns develop through subconscious imitation of our parents. This also applies to how we may handle topics like anger, resentment, communication, physical touch and helpful to become aware of, not only for our spiritual lives, but also for how we show up in marriage.

This even has significance when it comes to choosing a spouse because mirror neurons also fire when we simply observe someone we want to seek connection with. So simply spending time your husband can lead to changes in posture + habits (and in the long run, impact spiritual habits).

Why should we care about this as Christians?

When writing to the Corinthians, Paul writes, “do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good manners” in 1 Corinthians 15.

For context, before this statement, Paul was writing about the resurrection of Jesus, because the Corinthians had some faulty beliefs about it. He reminded them that Christ died for our sins, in accordance with the scriptures, that He was buried, that He was raised on the third day in accordance with the scriptures and that he appeared again to Cephas and the twelve and over five hundred other people (1 Corinthians 15:1-6). He was reminding them they should be living lives that mirror this truth, and be actively spreading this good news to others, but they weren’t.

When Paul writes the words, “do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good manners” in 1 Corinthians 15, he's reminding both the corinthians, and us, about the importance of tuning into our relationships because they influence us.

The relationships of the Corinthians were impacting the way they were thinking about the resurrection and the life they were living. They were mirroring those whom they spent the most time with. As a result, some were claiming there was no resurrection and misrepresenting God and living in light of false information.

Others were living in a drunken stupor and lives of sin, failing to spread the good news of the resurrection through the life they were living.

This is revealed as Paul tells them, “wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame” 1 Corinthians 15:34.

Paul reminds them of the truth of the resurrection in this chapter, but he also reminds us of something too:

the company we keep impacts the life we live and the person we become.

Throughout the book of Corinthians, Paul spent time addressing issues like envy, divisions, pride, and selfishness.

This is the same book where Paul writes about the embodiment of love:

He says, "Love is patient, kind, does not envy, is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

What can we learn from this in light of our physiology and the truth written in scripture?

The people we choose to spend the most time with, are impacting us both spiritually and physically. Including those we follow and engage with on social media.

We develop health habits based on those we spend the most time with.

And we develop spiritual habits based on those who we spend the most time with.

Are we surrounding ourselves with people who remind us of the hope of the resurrection and embody the example of love + the good news of the gospel?

Are we investing time into deep relationships with people who help us stay awake in a world that is tempting to lull us to sleep with distraction, pain, or constant entertainment? Including those we follow on social media?

Do we bond by gossiping, sharing the “latest juicy piece of information” or tearing others down (online and in person)?

Do the people we spend the most time with or follow on social media remind us to care for + nourish our God designed bodies or on the flip side, swing to the opposite side and cause us to be overcome with fear over the latest toxic ingredient or obsessed with the latest diet trend?

Are we spending time with people who love us but also challenge us to become better versions of ourselves and who we give permission to hold us accountable and share hard truths we may need to hear?

Does the company we keep draw us closer to heaven and a life lived on mission?

Or is the company we are keeping filling us with distraction, destructive, or numbing behavior?

Paul reminded the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians 7:17 “only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. That is my rule in all the churches.” And he writes to others in Romans 12:2-3. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Only we can answer honestly about the life we lead, the status of our relationships, and the way they are influencing or conforming us. But in order to answer that question, we have to actually take time to reflect + take inventory. I believe as we enter into 2024, taking inventory on our personal relationships is one of the most powerful questions we spend time reflecting on ❤️

Want to start taking inventory of how your past + current relations impact how you show up in life?

Join our community of women inside the Aligned + Renewed 12 week program, where we dive into topics like this one!

It is a place where we bridge the gap between Christian spirituality, physical, + emotional health, and will allow you to take radical action for the person you become in 2024!