Bridging Faith and Physiology: Addressing Porn Addiction in Christian Communities
I have hesitated to write on this topic because it is so tender and taboo, but due to the amount of requests I have had from clients to speak on this topic from the perspective of a Health Practitioner with over ten years of clinical experience, I decided to finally write an article about it in hopes to shine light on how we can help those in church with porn addiction.
Porn addiction is a growing problem in Christian communities today. It has been suggested in the upcoming 10 years, there will be severe health consequences of internet pornography (PMID: 37505898).
These include, but are not limited to:
An experience of body image dissatisfaction at middle age or later, which may influence future epidemic of mental disorders like depression and anxiety, and increased suicidal tendencies in the population ( PMID: 37505898)
Distorted versions of sexuality (PMID: 37505898)
Sexual dysfunction (PMID: 38761685)
Divorce (PMID: 38761685)
Though it is complex, there are ways in which we as the church can support those in our lives who suffer from porn addiction, and it begins by understanding the human body and it’s innate wisdom and design.
In this article, we'll explore porn addiction through the lens of physiology and biblical principles, and discuss how the church can play a crucial role in supporting those struggling with this.
My hope is that you read this article with an open heart and mind, and with an understanding that I am writing through the lens of love, compassion, and deep concern.
How did we get here?
The church as a whole has avoided this topic along with the topic of “sex” for far too long. Those who do touch on it, tend to have the stance of:
“That person just needs more self control.”
“That person is just a pervert.”
“His wife should be having sex with him more.”
The truth is, there is a lot of blame, shame, and misunderstanding going on in regard to these topics.
And there is a deeper pattern I have noticed: men are not taught in the church that there is an interconnection between chronic stress, physical health, sexuality, and their spirituality.
I believe this is a systemic issue, especially among male leaders in the church today. Many male leaders in the church today are currently overworked, burnt out, and in my opinion, the ones falling short and being “exposed” are very often, canaries in the coal mines revealing systemic issues at play in Christian communities.
Let’s begin with chronic stress:
Research of addictive behavior related to pornography suggests that approximately 56% of men use pornography as a form of relaxation decreasing subjective feelings of tension (Cooper et al., 2004; Weiser, 2000).
Let’s look at a real life scenario, shall we?
Ryan is in his early 30's and currently works 8-12 hour days as a busy minister.
He spends his days making hospital visits for sick members and afternoons and evenings studying and writing his sermons, bible study notes, and responding to email concerns of members of the congregation. He spends his weekends traveling to different conferences and speaking at seminars.
He spends a high amount of time during the day exposed to blue light on the screen and has very little exposure to natural light due to the structure of his office. He lives in the bible belt where after church on Sunday afternoons, members bond together over Mexican food, queso, pizza or fried food for celebrations. As a result, he is teased because over the years he has gained the “preacher weight.”
Because he is so busy at work, and uses most of his brain power and energy during his days, he rarely has time, or a desire to exercise. He fuels himself with caffeine to get through the day which spikes his blood sugar and leads him to crave a “sweet treat” around 2-3pm when he begins to crash and keeps his body primed with stress hormones.
When he leaves the church building, he comes home to a stressed wife with four kiddos. As soon as he enters the door, his wife hands him his screaming toddler and says, “your turn.” She’s rightfully exhausted and doing the best she can.
His stress hormones are high and his nervous system is on edge. He feels like he needs a release before he explodes. This is a familiar feeling he felt growing up, but he grew up in a conservative christian household who taught him, “you should just have self control and deny your emotions and just power through because, the heart is deceitful among all things, who can understand it. Oh and, don’t have sex until you’re married because the Bible says so.”
So Ryan never learned how to manage his emotions or stress responses or how to cope in a healthy way. Growing up in a highly sexualized culture, he was eventually exposed to porn in his teenage years and he discovered that when he watches porn, he actually feels calm and soothed after. He didn’t mean for it to become a habit or addiction, until one day it did and now it feels out of control and all consuming. He struggles in silence because he is ashamed and this topic is taboo to talk about in his community.
Lets pause for a moment and explore the connections between chronic stress, nutrition, the brain and body, and porn addiction in Ryan’s story. Ryan’s current blue print in life is making his addiction to porn almost impossible to break.
Here’s how and why:
Ryan is extremely stressed and burnt out and not sure how to cope or build resilience. Chronic stress and burn out influences a man’s nervous system. His nervous system then creates chronic tension in his body, impacts his heart health (leading to things like high blood pressure) his blood sugar (leading to things like diabetes), his sex drive, and his sleep. This is important to acknowledge because research of addictive behavior related to pornography suggests that approximately 56% of men experience pornography as a form of relaxation decreasing subjective feelings of tension (Cooper et al., 2004; Weiser, 2000).
Porn addiction also alters brain function and behavior. It rewires the brain. When a person chooses to engage in an addictive behavior like porn, it triggers the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine, which creates feelings of pleasure and reinforcement. Over time, the brain's chemistry adapts to the repeated exposure, leading to tolerance, dependence, and withdrawal symptoms when the addictive substance or behavior is absent. Ryan is trying to combat this addiction on his own and when it has gone on too long, outside support is needed. But he is afraid to seek outside support because of the shame that comes along with it.
He is stuck in a viscous cycle and his every day patterns are keeping him stuck.
In Ryan’s case, his stress triggers a desire for a release and he turns to and soothes with what he knows works: Porn.
Other lifestyle factors likely at play:
Ryan is exposed to little to no natural natural light and exercise during the day. Exercise helps naturally reduce stress and stimulates feel good hormones. Natural light helps reduce stress and improve sleep quality. Lack of sleep quality worsens chronic stress and fuels negative coping behaviors.
Ryan has unlimited exposure to blue lights on his devices. Blue light/Digital addiction produces metabolic changes, reduces serotonin availability, and disrupts circadian rhythms, fueling chronic stress, which fuels addictions and negative coping behaviors.
His nutrition habits are fueling blood sugar dysregulation. Blood sugar imbalances keep his nervous system chronically stressed and may be fueling self soothing and addictive behaviors.
He is overworked to the point where he has little capacity for his family and rejuvenation.
He is lacking community where he can feel supported and held accountable.
His community as a whole has a lack of understanding of sex and intimacy.
He is lacking helpful coping mechanisms for stress that he should have learned in preaching school.
He received little education on how to sustain intimacy in marriage. His wife is chronically stressed which drives cortisol in her body and lowers her sex drive. Many in the church are quick to say a woman should submit to her husband sexually, but do not equip her for when things happen like:
Lack of desire leading to lack of vaginal lubricants. This results in a woman’s vagina feeling dry and makes sex painful and undesirable.
He is lacking tools to that promote engaging conversation and intimacy with his wife.
As a side note, if church leaders do not have these tools themselves, they should be spending resources to hire other experts to equip their members, rather than causing their members to look for those resources out in the world and being shocked when leaders are taken out by porn addiction and infidelity.
These are systemics issue in the church culture Ryan grew up in. He has the duty to repent and take action, however, we also must consider that he is also taking the full blame because it is easier to blame an individual and where they fail short, rather than look at the bigger picture of what his life may be mirroring.
Now that we have looked at the interconnections in Ryan’s life, I want to equip you with a few pieces of knowledge that are helpful to know when it comes to combating porn addiction.
Helpful Things You Should Know About Your Brain and Body
You were designed with sexual desire. Sex is not inherently evil. It is a good and godly thing and it is in your design. But as he always does, satan can take this good and godly thing and twist it and make it something evil. Porn is hijacking your sex drive and will always leave you depleted and unfulfilled.
Teaching men and women about their sex drives and how to manage it, is critical in a highly sexualized culture. Simply stating, “have self control and don’t do it until your married,” is not helpful. It is also downplaying the beauty of sex and intimacy and marriage. Sex within the context of marriage is an incredible blessing, helps both man and woman involved reduce stress, creates a deep connection, and positively impacts health.
Porn impacts your brain via dopamine and the reward system. Dopamine plays a crucial role in the development of addiction. It reinforces behaviors by providing a sense of pleasure and satisfaction.
Blue light fuels addictive behavior on it’s own because of how it impacts your brain and reward system (lack of natural sunlight during the day worsens this dynamic). Blue light exposure could be fueling the porn addiction. Try turning the settings on your devices to dark mode and using blue light blockers when using devices in the evening to help curb addictive behaviors,
Chronic exposure to porn can lead to structural and functional changes in the brain, making it difficult to quit without intervention. This means you likely need to seek out counsel from a trusted person and get help. If you could do it on your own, you wouldn’t currently be struggling with it. It is time.
Helpful Biblical Principles To Embrace For Porn Addiction
The Bible offers profound insights into human behavior, including the struggle with addictions. It emphasizes the importance of self-control, community support, and spiritual growth. Are we honoring it’s wisdom or discounting it?
Here are a few to consider:
Porn can shape your brain but the word + Spirit of God can renew it. Romans 12:1-2 tells us: “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Many are quick to honor the ”renew your mind” piece these verses, but don’t forget where it says, “present your BODIES” as a living sacrifice. That includes honoring your physiology when approaching things like porn addiction, not just your Spirit. Prayer also rewires your brain. The truth is, God designed you with a brain capable of changing, don’t let the enemy convince you that it is too late for you.
It is crucial to guard your heart and eyes and flee when necessary. The Word of God tells us to flee temptation and resist the devil (see 2 Timothy 2:22 and James 4:7). If you or your loved one is struggling with porn addiction, fleeing temptation and resisting the devil may need to include setting boundaries on the computer and phone. Make it hard to look at those things by keeping your phone out of the bedroom at night or out of the bathroom or wherever you tend to fall short.
Develop self-control by understanding your God designed nervous system: I hear self controlled preached on a lot, and yes it is important and crucial (Galatians 5:22) but I rarely hear an acknowledgement of how it relates to human physiology. Self control is hard to do when you are chronically stressed and ignoring your physiology. Imagine starving someone for 2 weeks and then baking fresh baked cookies and cooking steak and eggs in front of them. Their hunger cues intensify, their mouth waters, and the urge and impulses to eat feels uncontrollable. We can acknowledge the difficulties of this person in this context, due to the hunger hormones and physiological impulses involved, can we do the same in the context of porn and chronic stress?
Cultivating securely attached members and a safe community for support is vital: Proverbs 11:14 states, "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." Are the communities inside our churches actually encouraging secure attachments to one another or are they more focused on attendance and activities? It is hard to strengthen relationships and securely attach to someone when you are constantly busy and on the go. For the one with addiction: What counselors do you currently have in your life who you can go to for support? A counselor does not just refer to a trained person with a license. Some of those most therapeutic and healing conversations can happen man to man. But you have to give someone permission and be willing to go to them with vulnerability.
Confession and repentance (gasp, I know) is crucial. I was once pulled into an elders office and lectured about encouraging confession, because people were offended that I was encouraging people to confess their sins to one another. How dare I encourage people to follow the scriptures? But I will continue to endorse it because not only is it biblical, but it also positively impacts your brain and body.
Here is what I know and have seen to be true:
Shame drives addiction because people attempt to soothe their shame with substances or behaviors that help them feel safe and soothed (this does not just apply to porn by the way). Shame dies in safe communities where confessions happen and stories of redemption are told. Receiving validation and support rewires our brains and positively impacts our health and behaviors. I have witnessed this happen countless times in the context of mental health inside my community.
In conclusion, addressing porn addiction is complex and nuanced and requires a compassionate and holistic approach. It is a growing issue worldwide and we need to start taking action.
I believe the best plan of action should involve honoring the interconnectedness between the mind, body, and Spirit and acknowledging where we are falling short. This problem will not stop growing until the church realizes it has a vital role to play in creating a supportive environment that fosters open communication, accountability, understanding, and healing.
Sources:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8786338/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4600144/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4851591/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9561544/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9179985/#B133-ijerph-19-06910
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10399954/#bib21
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37505898/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37505898/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37505898/
